Post by Channon Cade on Jan 11, 2006 19:29:18 GMT -5
::The camera fades in to pitch black. The sound of a light switch being flicked on is heard, as skylights become illuminated. The camera pans all around. It is a small high school gym set up to resemble a wrestling arena. The squared circle sits center stage, as a few rows of chairs encompass about. As the camera comes to ringside, we see Apolo Young and Randi Justice seated at ringside, along the aisle. Apolo is holding a sign that says; "Canadians Rock!". Suddenly, "Heavy" by Collective Soul is cued and the camera pans up the aisle. The curtains open below a sign that reads; "Girls". Channon Cade is standing there with his hood covering his head and his back to the ring. He quickly spins to the forefront and makes his way down the aisle. He stops halfway down and looks around the empty arena. He points to his right and acknowledges.........someone he perceives is there. He continues to make his way to the ring, as he reaches out to his left, making contact with an overjoyed Randi Justice. Channon calls towards the camera man and the camera man comes in for a closer shot, as Channon points to Apolo's sign. Cade gives the big thumbs up and then walks up the stairs and enters the ring. He climbs to the second turnbuckle and over looks the empty gym. Cade lifts the hood from his face and again, he points into the air, nods and smiles. Perhaps the asbestos has gotten to Channon, as he continues to acknowledge people who are not there. Cade climbs down and walks to the center of the ring. He walks off to the right, where a janitor only identified by his name tag as; Rodney, hands Channon a microphone. Cade again walks back to the center of the ring. He stands there and faces the camera, prepared to address his adoring fans, all 2 of them.::
{Channon Cade} Let me take this moment to properly introduce myself to all the great fans that are here today.
::The camera again pans across the empty gym, zooming in on Apolo and Randi, who stand and clap.::
{Channon Cade} I am "The Rated R Canadian Superstar" Channon Cade! And I have come to Valor Wrestling Alliance to save it! This once prospering and growth inspiring company has done nothing but dwindle. Fallen from its own greatness into a cry and plea for the melodramatic and ridiculous. For instance; the World Champion here thinks he is some sort of "messiah". He thinks he is some god among men. Well, he isn't. We have a North American Champion that seems to be in such torment. He is your average big and clumsy fellow, who gets picked on by the more athletic kids on the playground. Someone came and took his ball. Instead of taking it back, he has tripped over his own 2 left feet and continues to be laughed at by all the girls in the audience for his ineptitude.
::Channon pretends to trip over himself, stumbling forward and making a goofy face.::
{Channon Cade} Speaking of ineptitude, there is a man amongst the roster that continually spouts words of hate and harm. His fascination with blood is nothing more than a simple cry out for love and attention. The love and attention that he failed to receive as a youngster, because he probably ate his parents. No matter. Rest assured Valor fans, that I, Channon Cade, will bring this company back from its fleeting resources. I will once again make this company profitable. Bring light into this abysmal darkness and give each and everyone of you a reason to cheer again.
::Apolo and Randi stand from their seats. With huge smiles painted across their faces, they hoot and holler from their seats. Channon turns to his right and acknowledges them.::
{Channon Cade} Thank you. Its pretty obvious that this arena is just filled with "Channonites". Don't fret, Channonites.....I will be your hero. I will be your rolemodel. I will be a paragon of virtue and continuity. And I will restore this company to the top of the food chain. This all starts this Sunday. Because at Sunday Night Slam, the once premiere professional wrestling television show, I, Channon Cade, will go one on one with Hank "The Angry, Drunken Dwarf."
::Channon smirks towards the camera. He nods his head, imagining people laughing along with him.::
{Channon Cade} Hank, let me ask you a question.....exactly, which dwarf are you? I mean, I know of Sneezy, Bashful, Dopey..........
::Channon begins to draw a blank. He scratches his head, thinking of the other names. Finally he thinks he has it.::
{Channon Cade} ......Dancer, Prancer, Blitzed Out On Jager, Moe, Larry and Curly. But I do not know of Hank. You must be that renegade dwarf. The one, the rest of the family doesn't speak of. I guess that's why you got that nickname; "Loverboy." Either that or your boyfriend gave it to you.
::Cade smirks again and then holds his finger to his lips. Channon makes the shushing sound.::
{Channon Cade} Don't worry, Hank. I'll keep your secret. Just between you, me and the thousands of Channonites in attendance here tonight.
::The camera once again pans across the empty seats in the local gym.::
{Channon Cade} Now, I know the biggest question on the minds of all my Channonites is; "Why Channon, Why?" I've already climbed to the pinnacle of this business. Why would I come to Valor Wrestling Alliance and embark upon this mission? The answer is simple, Channonites. I cannot turn my backs to you, my adoring fans. I know that you have nothing to look forward to in your own pathetic lives. You are forced to live vicariously through me. For 2 hours, every Sunday, you get to forget about that crummy blue collar job. You get to forget about that ugly hag you have to fall asleep next to. You get to ignore that pile of bills sitting on your dining room table. Instead, you get the simple pleasure of enjoyment. The enjoyment to see me put on a show, like no other. Risking life and limb to entertain. You get to see me enjoy the company of an extremely sexy woman in Randi Justice. For just those 2 hours, you are allowed some enjoyment, that otherwise you lack in your pathetic existence.
::Apolo and Randi once again stand up. They claps for the words that Channon has just spoke. A few "hoorays" and "bravos" are uttered.::
{Channon Cade} Please hold your applause till the end. Because there is one last issue that I want to speak of. Channon Cade is the biggest free agent acquisition in the history of professional wrestling....NOT Mike Stryker. But me, Channon Cade. Mike Stryker came to this company with a list of strong credentials. Accomplishment, after accomplishment. But he came empty handed. When was the last time Mike Stryker was wearing gold? When was the last time Mike Stryker could claim to be a champion? The answer is somewhere between the invention of the automobile and the election of a Bush into the White House. And I ain't talking "W." Mike Stryker is no champion. Eric Hardcastle is but a paper champion. And Zmaster is a champion with no actual championship belt. I, on the other hand, have gold.
::Cade unzips his ring jacket. A shiny gold belt is revealed around his waist. The center plate shows a colored Canadian flag and a colored United States flag. As, Channon drops the coat to his side, he reaches down and he pats the center plate with his open hand.::
{Channon Cade} Camera man, get a good look at this bad boy.
::The camera zooms in on the championship belt.::
{Channon Cade} I am The ACW ACWA Can-Am Canadian American Television Champion. And I am the greatest champion to ever set foot in a Valor ring. Not Eric Hardcastle. Not Zmaster. Not Mike Stryker, but ME! The lineage of this championship can be traced back to biblical times. Jacob defeated God, becoming the first ever ACW ACWA Can-Am Canadian American Television Champion. Jacob would reign as champion for hundreds of years and was a true Canadian hero. Until such time that a much younger Robert Goullet would dethrone him in the 1970's. Goullet would reign as champion until the year 2000, where I would become the next great Canadian to become The ACW ACWA Can-Am Canadian American Television Champion. So, as you can see, no title in all the world is more prestigious. No title can compete in honor and dignity, like this championship. And I will continue to defend this championship title here in Valor. I will give any worthy opponent an opportunity at the most prestigious championship.....EVER. The ACW ACWA Can-Am Canadian American Television Championship. Cuz that's........how it's done!
::Channon Cade drops the microphone to the mat. He reaches down, retrieving his jacket and exits the ring. Apolo and Randi again stand and cheer for Channon. Apolo holds up a new sign saying; "Greatest Champion Of All Time." Channon acknowledges the sign, before walking up the aisle. Before exiting through the curtain, Channon turns to the empty arena, pointing to all his Channonites. He smiles and then turns back and walks back into the girls locker room.::
{Channon Cade} Let me take this moment to properly introduce myself to all the great fans that are here today.
::The camera again pans across the empty gym, zooming in on Apolo and Randi, who stand and clap.::
{Channon Cade} I am "The Rated R Canadian Superstar" Channon Cade! And I have come to Valor Wrestling Alliance to save it! This once prospering and growth inspiring company has done nothing but dwindle. Fallen from its own greatness into a cry and plea for the melodramatic and ridiculous. For instance; the World Champion here thinks he is some sort of "messiah". He thinks he is some god among men. Well, he isn't. We have a North American Champion that seems to be in such torment. He is your average big and clumsy fellow, who gets picked on by the more athletic kids on the playground. Someone came and took his ball. Instead of taking it back, he has tripped over his own 2 left feet and continues to be laughed at by all the girls in the audience for his ineptitude.
::Channon pretends to trip over himself, stumbling forward and making a goofy face.::
{Channon Cade} Speaking of ineptitude, there is a man amongst the roster that continually spouts words of hate and harm. His fascination with blood is nothing more than a simple cry out for love and attention. The love and attention that he failed to receive as a youngster, because he probably ate his parents. No matter. Rest assured Valor fans, that I, Channon Cade, will bring this company back from its fleeting resources. I will once again make this company profitable. Bring light into this abysmal darkness and give each and everyone of you a reason to cheer again.
::Apolo and Randi stand from their seats. With huge smiles painted across their faces, they hoot and holler from their seats. Channon turns to his right and acknowledges them.::
{Channon Cade} Thank you. Its pretty obvious that this arena is just filled with "Channonites". Don't fret, Channonites.....I will be your hero. I will be your rolemodel. I will be a paragon of virtue and continuity. And I will restore this company to the top of the food chain. This all starts this Sunday. Because at Sunday Night Slam, the once premiere professional wrestling television show, I, Channon Cade, will go one on one with Hank "The Angry, Drunken Dwarf."
::Channon smirks towards the camera. He nods his head, imagining people laughing along with him.::
{Channon Cade} Hank, let me ask you a question.....exactly, which dwarf are you? I mean, I know of Sneezy, Bashful, Dopey..........
::Channon begins to draw a blank. He scratches his head, thinking of the other names. Finally he thinks he has it.::
{Channon Cade} ......Dancer, Prancer, Blitzed Out On Jager, Moe, Larry and Curly. But I do not know of Hank. You must be that renegade dwarf. The one, the rest of the family doesn't speak of. I guess that's why you got that nickname; "Loverboy." Either that or your boyfriend gave it to you.
::Cade smirks again and then holds his finger to his lips. Channon makes the shushing sound.::
{Channon Cade} Don't worry, Hank. I'll keep your secret. Just between you, me and the thousands of Channonites in attendance here tonight.
::The camera once again pans across the empty seats in the local gym.::
{Channon Cade} Now, I know the biggest question on the minds of all my Channonites is; "Why Channon, Why?" I've already climbed to the pinnacle of this business. Why would I come to Valor Wrestling Alliance and embark upon this mission? The answer is simple, Channonites. I cannot turn my backs to you, my adoring fans. I know that you have nothing to look forward to in your own pathetic lives. You are forced to live vicariously through me. For 2 hours, every Sunday, you get to forget about that crummy blue collar job. You get to forget about that ugly hag you have to fall asleep next to. You get to ignore that pile of bills sitting on your dining room table. Instead, you get the simple pleasure of enjoyment. The enjoyment to see me put on a show, like no other. Risking life and limb to entertain. You get to see me enjoy the company of an extremely sexy woman in Randi Justice. For just those 2 hours, you are allowed some enjoyment, that otherwise you lack in your pathetic existence.
::Apolo and Randi once again stand up. They claps for the words that Channon has just spoke. A few "hoorays" and "bravos" are uttered.::
{Channon Cade} Please hold your applause till the end. Because there is one last issue that I want to speak of. Channon Cade is the biggest free agent acquisition in the history of professional wrestling....NOT Mike Stryker. But me, Channon Cade. Mike Stryker came to this company with a list of strong credentials. Accomplishment, after accomplishment. But he came empty handed. When was the last time Mike Stryker was wearing gold? When was the last time Mike Stryker could claim to be a champion? The answer is somewhere between the invention of the automobile and the election of a Bush into the White House. And I ain't talking "W." Mike Stryker is no champion. Eric Hardcastle is but a paper champion. And Zmaster is a champion with no actual championship belt. I, on the other hand, have gold.
::Cade unzips his ring jacket. A shiny gold belt is revealed around his waist. The center plate shows a colored Canadian flag and a colored United States flag. As, Channon drops the coat to his side, he reaches down and he pats the center plate with his open hand.::
{Channon Cade} Camera man, get a good look at this bad boy.
::The camera zooms in on the championship belt.::
{Channon Cade} I am The ACW ACWA Can-Am Canadian American Television Champion. And I am the greatest champion to ever set foot in a Valor ring. Not Eric Hardcastle. Not Zmaster. Not Mike Stryker, but ME! The lineage of this championship can be traced back to biblical times. Jacob defeated God, becoming the first ever ACW ACWA Can-Am Canadian American Television Champion. Jacob would reign as champion for hundreds of years and was a true Canadian hero. Until such time that a much younger Robert Goullet would dethrone him in the 1970's. Goullet would reign as champion until the year 2000, where I would become the next great Canadian to become The ACW ACWA Can-Am Canadian American Television Champion. So, as you can see, no title in all the world is more prestigious. No title can compete in honor and dignity, like this championship. And I will continue to defend this championship title here in Valor. I will give any worthy opponent an opportunity at the most prestigious championship.....EVER. The ACW ACWA Can-Am Canadian American Television Championship. Cuz that's........how it's done!
::Channon Cade drops the microphone to the mat. He reaches down, retrieving his jacket and exits the ring. Apolo and Randi again stand and cheer for Channon. Apolo holds up a new sign saying; "Greatest Champion Of All Time." Channon acknowledges the sign, before walking up the aisle. Before exiting through the curtain, Channon turns to the empty arena, pointing to all his Channonites. He smiles and then turns back and walks back into the girls locker room.::
