Pain and Suffering

[ecw4life]

The scene fades into a dark,cold,damp basement.The walls are cracked.Different types of insects crawl in and out of the dark deep cracks in the walls.Then, sitting in the corner of the basement is Johnny Arsenic.Johnny is surrounded by a small little light hanging above.It flickers continuously.As it flickers,Arsenic's face is shown over his face.As it flickers off then quickly back on you can see spiders crawling throughout Arsenic's black wavy hair.Arsenic also has many types of other insects crawling on his black leather jacket and his ripped blue jean shorts that he has on.Arsenic then gently moves his hair out of his face.On Arsenic's forehead shows the words in small black paint."Pain/Suffering".Arsenic then calmly puts his arm down to rest it on his knee.

Time has came....Time has gone...Throughout life,I have became a victim.A victim by which represents the loss of prosperity.Every chance.Every opportunity.They have held me down from succeeding my goals and dreams in life.They basically took my hopes.

A spider interrupts as the spider is crawling all over Arsenics face.Arsenic then lifts his arm from his knees.He opens his hand up and extends it palms facing up.Then puts it close to his face.The spider then transfers to his hand.Arsenic brings his arm down.Arsenic then slowly makes a fist.Blood from the spider squirts in between the gaps in his closed fist and rushes down the the knuckles.The blood is warm.

And they slowly squashed them...

Arsenic looks towards his fist.He opens his fist as the spider is laying motionless as Arsenics hand is covered with warm red blood.

ZMaster this is your hope.Your career.Your life.Come this Sunday.

Arsenic whipes his hand on his ripped shorts.A little bloodstain if left on Arsenics ripped shorts.The dead spider has separated from the roughness and friction of Arsenic rubbing his hand on his ripped jean shorts.Arsenic see's the main body of the spider and then flicks it off of his ripped shorts.

ZMaster...everything I do to you come Sunday, isn't going be my fault.It's going be your own.Believe me.ZMaster, I Will seek my revenge on you.I will not lay to rest and let the enemy stand over top of me in victor.That won't happen.But I will tell you whats going to happen on Sunday Night.I will come down to ringside alone.And I will embarrass you as millions of viewers will be watching from their homes.

Arsenic leans forward as his back isn't leaning on the cracked wall.

ZMaster listen up really carefully.What I'am about to say regards to your statement about this is the final promotion that you will ever wrestle in.ZMaster,this isn't just going to be your final promotion you wrestle in but this Sunday,this will be you very last match ever in your career.As I,Johnny Arsenic will take you through hell.This won't be a normal match.This will be brutal and I guarantee that there will be tons of blood spilt in this match.But ZMaster,come this Sunday I will not only defeat you,I will also claim your career and life.So what, you won twenty championships all over the world and that your the most recognized name in this professional sport which we call wrestling.So what.I don't care who you are.You mean nothing to me.Your are not great.The way I see it ZMaster.You are looking at absolutely the best in the business today.And that is me,Johnny Arsenic.ZMaster I can see that fear you have.Face it ZMaster deep down inside you,you know you can't coexist with someone who is more hardcore,insane,fearless,extreme, and more skilled then you are.ZMaster, for this Sunday, you will not survive Johnny Arsenic.The only thing that will survive of you, is the fact that I claimed victory over you and in that same night ended your career.ZMaster,the circumstances have already been laid on the table for what I will assure of come this Sunday.And that is ending your career and your life.


Arsenic leans back on the wall with the cracks.Arsenic raises his arm and extends his index finger out pointing to his forehead.He taps his forehead where it says "pain".


ZMaster, this is something I don't feel..No matter what, pain is a gain for me.Pain, by which the definition reads an unpleasant sensation occurring in varying degrees of severity as a consequence of injury, disease, or emotional disorder. Suffering or distress.I will injure you.I'am like a disease inside of you.Act like I'm gone but strike you twice as worse.When my hand is raised in victory, you will feel that emotion going through you as you ask yourself am I worthy of wrestling again?After a few nights knowing I'am alot better then you are,you will go into distress as you will decide is it time to retire?


Arsenic then moves this wrist the opposite direction and taps his forehead that says "suffering".

ZMaster,this is something I will do to others.Make them suffer.The definition of this reads,to feel pain or distress; sustain loss, injury, harm, or punishment.I promise you this you will feel alot of pain come this Sunday.You will sustain a huge loss after I defeat you.I will injure you for what you have done to me in the past.ZMaster,you will be in harm's way when you step in that ring with me.I'am set out to punish you and beat your ass down until you can not stand.

Arsenic stops tapping his head then extends his arms out.But suddenly the light bulb finally burns out.Arsenic can't be seen as it is too dark in the basement.But the words can be heard.


Quoth Johnny Arsenic....Never more...


The scene fades.

occ-I loved this rp.One of my all-time best right here.Sorry if I disrespected anyone in anyway.

[Bailey]

Dude, how big were these spiders you were killing? Blood was covering your fist and squirting between your knuckles?! No thank you. Especially since they were crawling on your face?!

[flaps]

Ermm.....I don't mean to be horrible but this doesn't work. First of, what is the point in the spiders? How does that relate to anything? It just seems out of place.

Some of your speech is ok and others is off. Your trying too hard to come across as a deep character, it just turns it into a bit of a mess. The idea of being dark is making ti come across that the character does it effortlessly but you seem to come off more as a kid who just found his first Manson CD.

You need to cut down a little on the bigger dramatic words, for example where you said

"by which the definition reads an unpleasant sensation occurring in varying degrees of severity as a consequence of injury"

That just does not sound right, no person would ever really say that. It doesn't even make much sense, it just sounds like a big load of rubbish. I get that you want Arsenic to sound more educated then before but you don't just get that by throwing bigger words together to try and be dramatic.

Never ever say "Quoth Johnny Arsenic....Never more..." again, we all know the poem if you know it from English class or The Simpsons people know it, we all also know Raven used it. I know its a coolish line but you can't just still it, it's like if Immune started calling himself 'Bid Poppa Pump Immune'. Taking lines from real wrestlers makes your RP seem cheap.

On the bright side there are a few decent ish points in there, they are a little basic and it's mostly I will beat you kinda stuff but it's never the less not a bad direction to go in.

Sorry if I'm a little hard but honestly, this wasn't great. Your just trying to do too much.

[Sin City Saint]

ill agree, but throw this out. its tough to be original without coming across boreing in rps these days. someone is always stealing someone elses gimmicks. there is just too many people out there with some sort of gimmick that someone will say you are ripping off. up until the point with the edgar allen poe quote, i had no problem with his dark attitude, while he may not have carried it out very well, this seems like a new character to him and he is trying to feel his way out.

[flaps]

punk said:

ill agree, but throw this out. its tough to be original without coming across boreing in rps these days. someone is always stealing someone elses gimmicks. there is just too many people out there with some sort of gimmick that someone will say you are ripping off. up until the point with the edgar allen poe quote, i had no problem with his dark attitude, while he may not have carried it out very well, this seems like a new character to him and he is trying to feel his way out.

Yeah its a new character I get why that makes it hard but he's done better then this with his old character. I always think the basics of your character will be influenced by another character but then you have to make it your own. It's an original efed so take the ideas of a real character and rework it with what you want to do and your ideas then it soon becomes your own.