Post by Valor CEO on Jul 14, 2005 18:58:28 GMT -5
The night is young, and the sun is just going down under the horizon. There is a light drizzle of rain dropping here and there, just enough to make the roads wet. You see bright lights flashing and advertising different buildings and businesses. You see homeless people asking strangers for money, and some succeeding and some failing. You see some homeless people that get the money running up to the nearest liquor store to buy alcohol. You see cars parked on the side of the road, and see hookers hanging half in and out of the cars talking to strangers about having sex with them for money. You see some parents chasing after their little kids. Then you see multiple people walking down the street and one of them multiple people is Immune. We see Immune walking down the street in a black leathered trench coat and in baggy torn blue jeans. We see him walking into a toy store, called Toys R’ Us. He walks up and down each aisle seeming to be looking for a certain toy. Then he comes to a complete stop and reaches out and grabs an action figure from off the shelf. Then he looks down at the individually plastic wrapped action figure and holds it up for the camera to see what he had found. It is an action figure of Eric Hardcastle from ROI, and it comes with a steel chair in the wrapped package. Immune then looks back down at the action figure and starts to laugh quietly. Immune then goes on through the rest of the store and finds another package that comes with two action figures in it sold as one. Immune then holds up the package for the camera to see and it is a package of The Untouchables, which is, Immune and ZMaster. Immune then takes both plastic wrapped packages to the front desk and lays them on the counter. The clerk scans the packages and comes up with a total of $18.55. Immune lays a $20.00 dollar bill on the counter and walks out of the store. The camera fades to black as you see Immune walking back down the busy street with the action figures in the Toys R’ Us bag.
The camera comes back into focus looking over a bridge. The water is moving calmly back and forth swaying ever so gently. The sun is now very dim as the top half of the sun is dropping through the horizon. There we see that the bridge is cut off and is being repaired by a construction company. There is a sign that says “Bridge is Out, Men at Work” but there is no one on the bridge at this time, except we see Immune leaning over one of the guard rails. Immune then turns around and sits down on the bridge that is being repaired and opens his bag of toys. Immune pulls out the single package first, which has, Eric Hardcastle in it and the steel chair. Immune then pulls out his pocket knife and cuts a piece of the plastic just enough to be able to pull apart by hand. Immune then rips open the package and lays the figure down on the ground and lays the steel chair across the chest of Eric Hardcastle’s action figure. Immune then pulls out the double sized package which holds Immune and ZMaster in it as one. Then Immune looks up begins to speak.
Immune: Okay, when I talked the first time I guess I really didn’t give a clear point across about what is going to happen in Hardcastle vs. Immune one on one at Sunday Night Slam. A lot of people told me that I wasn’t clear at what I was planning to do and all I kept saying was that I was going to kick his ass, and that isn’t the message I tried to get across. The message I tried to get across was, that come this Sunday on Sunday Night Slam Hardcastle and myself are going to tear the roof off of the Indianapolis Convention Center. We are going to take each other to hell and back to prove to each other once and for all that who the better wrestler is. We have always disagreed upon that question, he always thought he was better and I always knew I am better than him. Come this Sunday I am going to walk into the Indianapolis Conventional Center ready for the fight of my life and after the show I am going to walk out of the Indianapolis Conventional Center leaving the winner of the fight of my life.
Immune then pulls out his pocket knife again and cuts open the package which holds the members of The Untouchables, ZMaster and Immune. He then rips open the package and holds each member in each of his hands. Immune is in the right hand and ZMaster is in his left hand as Hardcastle is still lying on the pavement of the bridge. Immune then looks down at the action figure lying on the pavement and begins to talk.
Immune: You see Eric; I have always been on top. I always have been higher than you in the rankings on any fed we have been in or could ever be in. It doesn’t matter what the name or where the place is, I will always come out the victor in any match that highlights the names, Immune vs. Hardcastle. Now a lot of you are probably wondering why I went and bought these toys and what the purpose of doing so is. Well I went to the store and bought these toys to prove a point. You could go to any store and find a Hardcastle action figure, but I had to search all over for mine. I called ahead of time and they were the only store in town to have an action figure of me. Then I went to that same store and found a Hardcastle action figure, just like you can in all stores around the world. People know who the better wrestler is and that is why my action figure is so hard to come by, because they are always sold out of the Immune action figures. I guarantee that on all kid’s Christmas lists this year that like or love wrestling will have an Immune action figure on it.
Immune then takes out a piece of long string and lays the action figures of The Untouchables on the ground and picks up Eric Hardcastle’s action figure and ties the string around the neck of the Eric Hardcastle action figure. Immune then tosses the action figure over the side of the bridge and grabs a hold of the end of the string as the Hardcastle action figure is centimeters away from landing in the water. Immune then looks up and begins to talk.
Immune: Now, you see Eric, what I have here is your life in my hands. It is my choice to let you fall to a gruesome death, or I could save your life. Now come this Sunday on Slam it is going to be the same situation. I could go through with the match and give you the most deadly match you have ever seen and even been in, or I could save your life and walk away from the match. Now after what you did to me on Overload I have made a final decision. I am going to walk down that ramp and bring security guards with me, that way when the match is over they will pull me off of your bloody carcass and take me out of the arena before I do something that could end your career or even your life.
Immune then slowly pulls up the rope which has Eric Hardcastle’s action figure hanging on the other end of the rope. Immune then grabs the action figure and ties the rest of the rope around the body of the Hardcastle action figure and launches it out of his hand and over the side of the bridge. You can hear a loud splashing noise. Then Immune sits there and watches the action figure sink ever so slowly into the water. Then Immune looks at the ZMaster and Immune action figure and begins to talk.
Immune: You see Eric, as you can see your action figure sinking to the bottom of the river; you are just as washed up as your figure. You are always talking about being in wrestling for over 10 years, don’t you think 10 years is over doing it a little. I mean people don’t want to see your lazy ass every night wrestling and getting your ass kicked night in and night out for the last 10 years. In my mind you should retire and do us all a favor, but with the ego you have, you won’t let your body tell you no about retiring. So, I guess when you get in the ring with me this Sunday and wrestle a wrestling GOD like myself, you will realize you are too old for this business. And just like the action figures The Untouchables will come out in mint condition this Sunday on Slam and you and my partners opponent will come out battered and bleeding profusely.
Immune then takes the two action figures and walks away from the broken down bridge. Immune raises his hand for a taxi and a yellow taxi stops and Immune gets in the backseat of the taxi and the taxi takes off. Then we go to commercial break.
The camera comes back into focus looking over a bridge. The water is moving calmly back and forth swaying ever so gently. The sun is now very dim as the top half of the sun is dropping through the horizon. There we see that the bridge is cut off and is being repaired by a construction company. There is a sign that says “Bridge is Out, Men at Work” but there is no one on the bridge at this time, except we see Immune leaning over one of the guard rails. Immune then turns around and sits down on the bridge that is being repaired and opens his bag of toys. Immune pulls out the single package first, which has, Eric Hardcastle in it and the steel chair. Immune then pulls out his pocket knife and cuts a piece of the plastic just enough to be able to pull apart by hand. Immune then rips open the package and lays the figure down on the ground and lays the steel chair across the chest of Eric Hardcastle’s action figure. Immune then pulls out the double sized package which holds Immune and ZMaster in it as one. Then Immune looks up begins to speak.
Immune: Okay, when I talked the first time I guess I really didn’t give a clear point across about what is going to happen in Hardcastle vs. Immune one on one at Sunday Night Slam. A lot of people told me that I wasn’t clear at what I was planning to do and all I kept saying was that I was going to kick his ass, and that isn’t the message I tried to get across. The message I tried to get across was, that come this Sunday on Sunday Night Slam Hardcastle and myself are going to tear the roof off of the Indianapolis Convention Center. We are going to take each other to hell and back to prove to each other once and for all that who the better wrestler is. We have always disagreed upon that question, he always thought he was better and I always knew I am better than him. Come this Sunday I am going to walk into the Indianapolis Conventional Center ready for the fight of my life and after the show I am going to walk out of the Indianapolis Conventional Center leaving the winner of the fight of my life.
Immune then pulls out his pocket knife again and cuts open the package which holds the members of The Untouchables, ZMaster and Immune. He then rips open the package and holds each member in each of his hands. Immune is in the right hand and ZMaster is in his left hand as Hardcastle is still lying on the pavement of the bridge. Immune then looks down at the action figure lying on the pavement and begins to talk.
Immune: You see Eric; I have always been on top. I always have been higher than you in the rankings on any fed we have been in or could ever be in. It doesn’t matter what the name or where the place is, I will always come out the victor in any match that highlights the names, Immune vs. Hardcastle. Now a lot of you are probably wondering why I went and bought these toys and what the purpose of doing so is. Well I went to the store and bought these toys to prove a point. You could go to any store and find a Hardcastle action figure, but I had to search all over for mine. I called ahead of time and they were the only store in town to have an action figure of me. Then I went to that same store and found a Hardcastle action figure, just like you can in all stores around the world. People know who the better wrestler is and that is why my action figure is so hard to come by, because they are always sold out of the Immune action figures. I guarantee that on all kid’s Christmas lists this year that like or love wrestling will have an Immune action figure on it.
Immune then takes out a piece of long string and lays the action figures of The Untouchables on the ground and picks up Eric Hardcastle’s action figure and ties the string around the neck of the Eric Hardcastle action figure. Immune then tosses the action figure over the side of the bridge and grabs a hold of the end of the string as the Hardcastle action figure is centimeters away from landing in the water. Immune then looks up and begins to talk.
Immune: Now, you see Eric, what I have here is your life in my hands. It is my choice to let you fall to a gruesome death, or I could save your life. Now come this Sunday on Slam it is going to be the same situation. I could go through with the match and give you the most deadly match you have ever seen and even been in, or I could save your life and walk away from the match. Now after what you did to me on Overload I have made a final decision. I am going to walk down that ramp and bring security guards with me, that way when the match is over they will pull me off of your bloody carcass and take me out of the arena before I do something that could end your career or even your life.
Immune then slowly pulls up the rope which has Eric Hardcastle’s action figure hanging on the other end of the rope. Immune then grabs the action figure and ties the rest of the rope around the body of the Hardcastle action figure and launches it out of his hand and over the side of the bridge. You can hear a loud splashing noise. Then Immune sits there and watches the action figure sink ever so slowly into the water. Then Immune looks at the ZMaster and Immune action figure and begins to talk.
Immune: You see Eric, as you can see your action figure sinking to the bottom of the river; you are just as washed up as your figure. You are always talking about being in wrestling for over 10 years, don’t you think 10 years is over doing it a little. I mean people don’t want to see your lazy ass every night wrestling and getting your ass kicked night in and night out for the last 10 years. In my mind you should retire and do us all a favor, but with the ego you have, you won’t let your body tell you no about retiring. So, I guess when you get in the ring with me this Sunday and wrestle a wrestling GOD like myself, you will realize you are too old for this business. And just like the action figures The Untouchables will come out in mint condition this Sunday on Slam and you and my partners opponent will come out battered and bleeding profusely.
Immune then takes the two action figures and walks away from the broken down bridge. Immune raises his hand for a taxi and a yellow taxi stops and Immune gets in the backseat of the taxi and the taxi takes off. Then we go to commercial break.
OOC: I really liked the outcome of this rp and I hope the rest of you really enjoy it and like always feedback is appreciated. I know I used the name Immune a lot again, but that is how I am used to writing and I will slow it down soon on the immune name. I apologize and I really hope you all like this one better than my first.
) point was very clever. That showed the intelligence of your character and not that he's some hulking beast foaming at the mouth over a bucket of chicken wings. You recognized that you still use Imune did this and that a lot, but that's the first step to improvement. As you get more comfortable with your style, your scene descriptions will continue to flow better. Good job and good luck. 
