YLC RP #2 "Who will win?"

[katrina]

We open up to a Hotel Room its pretty big and has Red Carpet, A bathroom to the right of a large King sized Bed and a Verandah. On a shelf near the bed is the Jwa:Ewa North American Championship. Near the T.V lies Plane Tickets and a Wallet. We now cut to the Lobby of the Hotel where we see Shane O'Riley and Katrina enjoying a Cold Beer. To the left of them is the Desk and to the right is a counter a elderly couple are enjoying a nice Glass of Red Wine. Suddenly Shane turns towards the Camera and stares into it his eyes fixed on the Camera.

Shane: You see Will Dinero i managed to sit through one of your boring Promo's thats right i didnt fall asleep. First is first your not Rich ok? Why dont you have Beautiful Women trailing you is it because you suck? Or is it because you couldnt get a Woman with a $100 Bill sticking out of your trousers.

Shane shares a quiet laugh with Katrina as the Elderly Couple leave.

Shane: You see Will Dinero i dont believe you have ever been a Champion anywhere and even if you had been it would of been a Federation with guys like Bailey and Hardcastle. Well let me tell you something Dinero im here for one thing and one thing only and that is the Young Lions Cup! Did you happen to catch FEW's Latest P.P.V? God Bless America? Well if you did then you would of noticed that i became a double Champion but if me saying it wont convince you i can show you.

Shane looks over at the Camera man.

Shane: Follow me!

Shane and Katrina go up a Staircase and find their room which is Located on the Second Floor the door is labeled "55" Shane pulls out the Room Key and opens the door he quickly walks over to a Small Suitcase and zips it open inside lies the FEW's Supreme Championship. Shane scoops it up in both hands and eventually puts it on his shoulder he walks over to the Jwa:Ewa North American Championship and picks it up and hands it to Katrina she places it on her shoulder as Shane looks back at the Camera.

Shane: This is the Belt you made fun of.

Shane taps the Jwa:Ewa North American Championship 3 Times before stopping and turning his attention back to the Camera.

Shane: Made out of Tin huh? Looks like Gold to me. Whats next are you going to say the Supreme Championship is made out of Tin aswell? Well lets get something straight both of these Championships are Pure GOLD! I hold more Championships at this very second than you have held ever! I'm a god your just a Chump. You may of beat me once but that was when i had to team with Havok! So tommorow night when we go toe to toe you wont walk out a Winner and you might not walk out at all!!

Shane flashes his Golden Smile as we fade out of the Hotel Room.

Yeah it was okayish but i could of done better.

[Sin City Saint]

grrrr..... still not good. but u have to admit that this is his best rp he has written. try not to make the whole rp a bunch of insults and get rid of that damn belt!

[Money]

LOL! ;D Sorry, but before you go about dissin' people's title runs and history, you might want to ask or do your homework first. I've been champion in feds with Bailey and Hardcastle and Bailey was a part of my stable at one point. LOL!

[Bailey]

money said:

LOL! ;D Sorry, but before you go about dissin' people's title runs and history, you might want to ask or do your homework first. I've been champion in feds with Bailey and Hardcastle and Bailey was a part of my stable at one point. LOL!

Damn dude that was a long time ago. I was in Money Inc for a short time back in the UIW...but I was still better than you.

Oh yeah, sorry for spamming the rp. This is one of your better efforts O'Riley, you're headed in the right direction, but it still isn't up to what's expected. Money has a point about doing your research. Before you question people's title history, make sure you ask. I got burned like that years ago and I'll never forget it. I felt like an idiot, and an wanted to crawl in a hole.

[katrina]

punk said:

grrrr..... still not good. but u have to admit that this is his best rp he has written. try not to make the whole rp a bunch of insults and get rid of that damn belt!

Whats wrong with liking something you worked hard for? Whats wrong with wanting to show it off in a Tournament.
where your representing another Fed.

Also the Insults are apart of the Characters Gimmick he's meant to be a Smart Ass.

[katrina]

money said:

LOL! ;D Sorry, but before you go about dissin' people's title runs and history, you might want to ask or do your homework first. I've been champion in feds with Bailey and Hardcastle and Bailey was a part of my stable at one point. LOL!

Oh and i said you were only a Champion in feds with Hardcastle and Bailey i did it on purpose to Piss Hardcastle and Bailey off (In Character) And i know you have probally been a Champion in another Fed but Shane is meant to underestimate a oppenent.

[Bailey]

There's nothing wrong with being proud of what you've accomplished or won. The issue that some people, including myself, have is that you constantly talk about your title. In every one of your rps you talk about that title. It's great that you have a title to flaunt, but you have to know when enough is enough. Mentioning another feds belt in one rp is fine. Comparing belts from one fed to another, isn't. Constat reminders that you're a champion in another fed, isn't.

Also, doing that takes away from your rp as a whole. For example, you could have written the greatest rp in rp history. No one expects it because previous ones were just ok. People read it, and then they see you mention your title for the millionth time like you always do, and now you've lost everyone of your readers. They knew you we're going to do that, they're now tired of it, and their interest in your now phenominal rp is lost because you continue to force your belt down peoples throats like Money Man said in his rp.

Hopefully that clears up some of the confusion about why people aren't receiving your accolades as much as you would expect.