RP For Sunday Night Slam #1 "Dont Cross Shane!"

[katrina]

We open the Scene at someones White Sneakers we slowly move up the body of the Person and see some some Track Pants we move further up and see a Shirt which reads "Shane O'Riley Representing Jwa:Ewa in the Young Lions Cup 2005!" we move Further up and see a Championship the Plate Sparkles and some writing is Engraved in it. it reads "Jwa:Ewa Warzone Underground North American Champion" and under that writing it simply reads "Shane O'Riley" we move to the guys head and we see Blonde Hair and a Cocky Grin on his face.

Shane: You see some people saw me entering the Arena they were just staring thinking i was too well Built to be a Fan the mystery went on nobody knew but now i am finally here in the VWA and yes i am entered in the Young Lions Tournament and yes i plan to win the Young Lions Tournament!

The Fans not knowing what to think Cheer this Man as he just grins.

Shane: Now i heard that you guys have a Show here called Sunday Night Slam and i want to see if im Booked so im going to Steven Lynch's Office Cameraman follow me.

Shane walks off down the Corridor as his Sneakers squeak he walks past some Janitors and eventually gets to Steven Lynch's Office he knocks on the door as someone yells out for him to come in he walks in and sitting at his Desk is Steven Lynch. Steven is Wearing a nice White Suit and is filling out some documents he looks up at Shane as Shane just smiles.

Shane: Well well well Steven Lynch?

Steven: Who are you?

Shane: Well Steven my name is Shane O'Riley im here to represent the Jwa in the Young Lions Cup and i plan to win!

Steven: Ah thats good but who's Championship is that?

Shane: This Championship here...

Shane straightens the Championship that lies on his Shoulder.

Shane: This is the Jwa:Ewa North American Championship.

Steven: Ahh very nice but Shane i have some great news for you.

Shane: Which is?

Shane begins to smile as Steven clears his throat and begins to speak again.

Steven: Erhem your in a Tag Match.....

Shane: For the Tag Championships?!?!

Steven: Uh Shane we dont have Tag Championships.

Shane: Than why the Hell am i in a Tag Match?

Steven: To Prove yourself, Have you ever watched our Show?

Shane: I watched your last Pay Per View "Valor before Glory"

Steven: Did you happen to see Shane Quickenbosh Vs Will Dinero?

Shane: Yes i did.

Steven: There your Oppenents.

Shane: Steven you promised me Gold you Son of a Bitch

Steven: Yeah well to bad and your Tag Partner is Havok

Shane: Who?!

Steven: A New Guy just like you....

Shane Interurupts Steven.

Shane: A Guy like me so he is a Champion? And has only had a 11 Month Career and has Held a OCW United States Championship?! And a FIW Cruiserweight Championship?! And a Jwa:Ewa North American Championship?! Has he even held 3 Jwa:Ewa Hardcore Championships? Huh?

Steven: Wow Wow Wow Calm down he is a 3 Year Veteran of the Ring though he may have held a World Title.

Shane: So does that mean he's better than me?!?!

Steven: I never said tha....

Shane: Oh No dont twist stuff around Steve i heard what you said.

Shane slams his Hand on the Desk a few pens fall onto the Marble Floor below the Desk Steven shakes his head as Shane walks out of the Office.

[Valor CEO]

ok this rp seemed to be rushed but I am glad to see your enthusiasm towards the card, next rp try to make it more detailed and better and longer speech, I mean this rp wasnt bad, but I know you can do better if you take a little more time on it remember quality over quanity, one great rp beats 5 sucky ones, I aint saying this one sucks I mean it is pretty decent actually but in the rp you said you watched dinero and quickenbosh, well did u happen to read their rps as well because they are going to be tough opponents for you and havok, well do u plan on doing another and if so how many more, the rp itself isnt bad, just rushed.

Immune

[Hardcastle]

A couple of hints for you. First off....why do you capitalize some words in the middle of a sentence and not capitalize others that should be?

Don't use Steven Lynch in your roleplay if you cast him in a negative light. Lynch would never say he doesn't know if someone in his fed is a former world champion. Lynch would know these things. If you are going to use someone like that, please make sure you caputre him properly.

The end came way too abruptly. You barely talked about your match, partner or opponents. You left me wanting a lot more.

I thought your character came off well. Though I would leave all the "other belts" at home. None of those titles mean anything. Incorporating YLC was a nice touch. Shows that you are interested and keep up with current events. A little more effort and you will be there. Good luck!

[katrina]

Yeah this was Rushed i didnt Spell Check it or anything and i had to rush out for a little while i will type another one though Tonight (Australian Time) and i will spend more than 20 Minutes on it...

[Valor CEO]

katrina said:

Yeah this was Rushed i didnt Spell Check it or anything and i had to rush out for a little while i will type another one though Tonight (Australian Time) and i will spend more than 20 Minutes on it...

Glad to hear it man like I said before this rp wasnt bad, just rushed and I think if you spend 1 hour to 1 1/2 hours then I think you could have one hellacious rp, I know you have it in you, make one hell of a debut hear in valor and help havok win his debut as well. good luck to you two, ruiting for the underdogs in this one, so dont bite the man that bids for you. lol.

Immune

[Bailey]

JC dude you don't waste time! Great, your enthusiasm is refreshing. I think this rp could have been better, but you did admit that it was rushed. Looking forward to your next one man!

[havok360]

hey man this rp wasnt bad at all, the only thing wrong with it in my mind was the speech could have been longer and your description as well, I believe if you didnt rush this rp, it could have become something spectacular, well anyways at least I know my partner is enthused about our match as I am, and I am going to start working on my rp tonight I believe.